Living “abroad” always sounds like a magical idea until you realise life won’t be the same as it was back home – not in the slightest! Here are some of the problems I (and some of my close desi friends) have faced while living in the West.
- “Don’t you have anything spicy?”
Chilli is life – or masala in general. When you give me boiled chicken and veggies, all i’m going to be doing is be eating disappointment. I want DESI spicy – not mzungu* spicy – just give it to me, i can handle the “heat”!
- When someone plans on visiting you, all you ask for is food.
Shan masalas, kurkue, chevra (nimko) just bring me all of it! (To all the people about to visit Lisbon, please and thank you i’ll love you forever)
- You start missing food you always avoided back home.
Even though you always say no to that chopri hoi roti you suddenly start craving it when you can’t have it anymore.
Give me all the fat!
- When you get annoyed when people mispronounce your name.
So much so that you eventually give up and let them call you whatever they want.
“Isma” “Ismet” “Izmat” “Ishmat” .. meh; ok then.
- Every time you call your mum your conversations are always food related.
Mama: Khana khaya? Kya khaya?
Mama: Roti pakana seekhlo
Mama: Aj i tried this recipe, suno pehle na….
Mama: Salaan kha rahi hoon, chahiye?Mum no, don’t torture me. Please stop. *cries while eating cereal*
- Seafood becomes life, until you see that halal food sign and start jumping around with joy.
YESS. GIVE ME THOSE KEBABS TURKISH UNCLE.
- Going to supermarkets and spending hours reading those labels.
Is this vegetarian? Does it have gelatin? What kind? Mamaaaaaaa
- You start appreciating dhaniya and not throwing it on everything.
3.50€ for coriander? Are you kidding me? *cries in the corner with dhaniya-less food*
- Getting excited when you see desi people in the metro
And then realising that they speak a completely different language and don’t understand yours
- When people ask you why your english is so good.
- That cringe you feel when an uncle or auntie wants you to call them by their first name so you just end up saying “um” to grab their attention when you need to speak to them
No – please, don’t make me do that. PLEASE
- “But you don’t look asian”
Hold on, let me go and grab my tikka and dupatta
- The dissapointment you feel when you order biriyani and it’s – well, something else.
Ye kia hai? Where is the masala?
WHY DID YOU MIX IT? WHERE ARE THE LAYERS!?
Ye to masalay walay chawal hain.
Aloo kaha hain?